Legacy in the Making: One to be proud or ashamed of?

Lcpod

Window by Good Old War 
Tell me by Good Old War
Ho Ho Hopefully by The Maine

On the evening of March 12, 2011, I received the highly anticipated news:

She's heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrreee !!!!!!

Like the labour pro that she is, my eldest sister delivered, without a hitch, her fourth child, a beautiful little baby girl to whom I am the Godmother.

To be a Godparent doesn't mean much these days.  It really has lost its inherent intentions.  The perception of the role is nothing short of wrong.  Whether that's a result of poor practice, not enough practice, or simply not really knowing, who knows.  But it means a great deal to me, even more so because I know it means a great deal to my sister and brother-in-law to have this sort of figure present in the lives of their children.  When they ask someone to be a Godparent , it's a decision well thought out, one with great care.

I actually lost a friend over this exact topic.  I don't know how the conversation came about but he struck down the definition of Godparent, saying that it was the person that would look after the child if the parents passed; and things of that nature.  I kindly reminded him that a definition is a definition and it didn't matter what argument he presented, by definition, a Godparent is what it is.  Quoting a character from my favourite criminal investigation show, CSI Miami,

"It is what it is.  It ain't what it ain't.  Don't make it what it ain't".

It was by no means a heated argument.  Both adults, I figured a conversation could take place and no matter the topic, no matter the opinion, no matter the passion, upon completion we could both walk away from it either stronger in one's stance or more in agreement with agreeing to disagree.  But apparently his temper was flared and he then deleted me from MSN and Facebook.  It's rather tragic that we've lost touch.  We shared a great 4-5 months together, hand in hand, emotionally and physically available to only each other.  Just thinking about it now saddens me.  

I already feel extremely protective over my nieces and nephew.  I take my job as an auntie very seriously.  I am by default hired to be their arts and crafts buddy, their play mate,  their personal beanbag, another shoulder to cry on, an imagination pusher, and what I can't get enough of, a provider of overwhelming kisses and all encompassing hugs.

But on the heel of this little gal's birth, I really got to thinking.  What is it about me that will make me a great auntie, but more importantly, a great Godmother, and what is it about me that will make me falter?  What do I have going for me and what is working against me?

What instigated these very deep questions was the responsibility bestowed upon me via the request for my Godmotherhood.  I feel a great sense of responsibility over her.

How can I proudly lead this child?
By example.
Am I exemplary?
That's debatable.

She is a blank slate.  She is faultless.  She is so innocent.  Weighing in at 6 pounds 9 ounces, she is blindly trusting us to steer her in all the right directions,  if not at least the best ones. Such purity calls for the best of the best and I cannot, and will not, deny her that. 

I am not a blank slate.  I am with faults.  I am not innocent. Weighing in at 130 pounds, I am no longer being steered through life.  I make my own choices, aware and candid.  

So this is where all my self reflection comes in.  

I need to know that what I say, what I do, what I stand for, are all things she (and the 3 other little munchkins I love so much) can be proud of. Most importantly, that they are things I can proudly share and exude.  

It shouldn't have taken the birth of a little angel to kick me into high gear in becoming the greatest person I can be, but that is the truth of the matter.  I, and many others alike, seek out motivation, a catalyst of some sort, to get the ball rolling.  It's a subconscious decision but I need to look forward to something in order to give purpose to what I'm doing or about to do because without it, my actions and the efforts supporting them seem less gratifying.

I relate it to the major clean sweep of your house before a family gathering or before a guest, especially one of romantic interest, comes over.  There's this cluster of hours that is wholly dedicated to cleaning up and making everything pristine, as if it always is.  Wouldn't it be easier to just keep up with the upkeep and save ourselves from the misery that is last minute cleaning?

Do we put things off because, deep down, we don't want to start them, we want to avoid them or because deep down we know we will not follow through?  Why do we wait for the first day of a new year to make a life resolution ? Ever notice new eating regimens always start on Monday?  

All this then means we're all talk no action.  I don't want to be that.  I want to take action.  When I talk of myself and my life, I want to use the present tense of a verb, not the future.  Let me rephrase that, I will use the present tense and I will not use the future.

I can kind of understand, on a much smaller scale of course, what parents go through with the birth of a child: this complete character overhaul to ensure that your person, what you are, stand for, believe in, say, do, will rub off well on your child.

You have to have all your beliefs in check. There's no swaying. You are the child's foundation.  You must be solid.  In order to do that, you really need to know yourself and you really need to figure out your basis, your center, your virtues, your deeply rooted morals and then you can stand firm in all of that.

I believe that children are a blessing in more than one way.  They're miraculous in the way they are created, and they are a blessing because of the changes they produce in us.   

Life breaks you down.  Not intentionally. But don't let it break your legacy.  We are each entitled to leave a great mark, and there is no better time than the present.

Thank you baby girl (she's still nameless) for lighting a fire in me that will make me the best Godmother in town, the greatest auntie to each of you angels, and a fine person for the world.


LCxo