LCpod:
When we first met by Hellogoodbye
I Never Can Relax by Hellogoodbye
M79 by Vampire Weekend
Make you Crazy by Brett Dennen
The other night, I was in my oversized pj pants, a comfortable hoodie and hair messily in a clip talking with two of my closest girlfriends. Dressed in the ideal attire for late night chatter and sitting en indien, we had a mini pow-wow on men. I love those. Especially when they are with intellectually mind blowing females.
Hot topic: What's our type of men
We didn't have to think very hard as the answers were blatantly obvious. Cynth, or Cyntheroo as I like to call her, is wildly into the athletic gentlemen. Joo Joo as I will call her is into the artsy, philosophy junkies and I, LC, am into the wordy fellows, those lads whose vocabulary is vast, rich and well endowed. I am a sucker for someone who can speak the English language properly. I get weak in the knees when sentences blow me away. I see it as an artistic creation unfolding right before my eyes. It's also because I like a person who can express themselves. Generally speaking, pardon the corny pun, they always have something to say on any given topic and are willing to talk about anything, be it relevant or silly, like if you adopted a highway, what would you name it, or do you think beavers get bored of chewing on tasteless wood. But seriously though, it must be boring. Same goes for dogs. Okay, I'm falling off topic. Don't confuse the wordy types as those people who butt into any and every conversation and feel the need to throw their personal comments at everything. No. Those people are obnoxious. I'm talking about those glorious people whose conversations never run dry. I feel their conversational skills are indicative of how able they are to tap into every area of themselves and put it out there. That's wonderful. And rare for a man. Wordy isn't a bad thing. Or is it ?!?! According to our pow wow, it can be. Here's why.
Last year, Joo Joo taught a university course (side note: super proud of her). With this title, she obviously had to correct papers. After reading each individual paper, the norm is to dissect and analyze it and figure out what it is the paper is all about and if in fact it actually answered anything. Is the essay good or bad ? Did this student understand the assignment and has it translated into a well written informative paper? Oddly enough, many times, she couldn't figure that out. So she would read it again. Nothing. A third time. Still nothing. She was confused because if something is good or bad, it's usually quite easy to decipher and figure out. And then it all made sense. She was able to put her finger on it. She referred to it as glaze, a thin or mighty layer, depending on the author's ability to gab, of subject enamel. A beautiful coat of luster lathered onto something lack-luster. Essentially, it meant they never really touched on the heart of the matter. Nothing of substance was delivered because when they should have been talking about subject A, they were talking about subject B,C, D,E, F, G all the way to our beloved Z. Subject A gets lost in the fanciful fluff these wordy types so eloquently put out there. Or better yet, it's like fluffing a pillow. You can fluff it all you want, make it seem nice, comfortable and inviting, but if it's a shitty pillow, no amount of fluffing will make it great. That's the truth.
This is how wordy types are. Fluff is their middle name and they carry it well. Now, hear me out:
Bullshit baffles brains.
To baffle a brain, you must bullshit.
To bullshit you have to be wordy.
Wordy baffles brains.
Therefore wordy is bullshit.
I'm sure my Critical Thinking & Argumentation professor would find holes in my analysis but let's pretend for one second that my argument is sound. Think about it....I AM SCREWED !!!! Literally screwed. Shit !!! Shit !!! Shit !!! The men I like are the kings in this realm. They thrive off sounding nice. Emphasis on the word sounding because they turn out to be the opposite of the person they've created through their magical tool called speech.
I had a mini panic attack when we came to this realization. Am I someone who talks incessantly as a way of just sounding nice? As a way of layering myself with a shield of some sort to help prevent people from seeing in? I knew that I wasn't but I fit the criteria too well that I had to question my intentions. They quickly put me in my place and reminded me that I'm genuine. Holy mac, thank you !!!!
I hold no shame in telling people that I am one of the many thousands that participates in online dating, plenty of fish to be exact. I agree that it is an awkward way of meeting someone and at times, it makes me feel slightly inadequate in my ability in approaching people live But however unconventional, in this day and age, it fits. And as my dad says "It's not like back in the day when you were able to meet a good Catholic man at the church picnic".
The whole concept behind these sites is to converse with people, write and receive messages. I delete alot of them. They get pretty ridiculous. But then the odd one will come around and have something of substance to say. And if it's worded great, even better. So here's me, totally into the wordy types, like fresh bait in a sea of predominantly creepy men smitten over the select few that can put a sentence together, and paragraphs at that. My way of filtering out the men is via their initial messages. If it's not intriguing, I'm out. I have no qualms in not responding. But this filter is not working. Because I was had, on more than one occasion, and the reason for me falling in like with these characters is because they spoke well and captivated my attention right from the beginning, in their profile, to our conversations, to our dates, so on and so forth. They set out the right bait. Dammit ! This has gotta change. Joo Joo said "Every fish tank needs a filter and right now your filter is dirty, you need to replace it because you're letting in all the dirt" (how clever for plenty of fish).
So, first order of business, change my filter. Check. How have I changed it you ask? Well, since this talk, every message I received went through 3-4 filters: Cynthia, Julie, Cheryl and Veronika :) No more wowing just this girl with your great vocabulary. You need to wow 5 women, 5 very different type of women. Have fun with that one! If they make it across, then they can wipe that sweat from their brow knowing darn well they deserved their spot across from me.
LCxo
