Do not disrespect yourself

As mentioned previously, I am an avid talker and despise bottling things up. LC is a chatter box. I release my inner psychobabble, no matter how absurd, either over my morning coffee with my roommates or over many glasses of wine on any particular day of the week. I have been told that my analytical abilities are scary because my trains of thought are long, tedious and from a very different angle, but at the end of the tunnel, they are accurate. It’s a gift.

So whenever I get advice, I soak it up, ponder over it for a little while, dissect it, analyze it and piece it back together to see if it fits anywhere in my life at that moment in time. If not, then it’s stored in this advice box in the inner circles of my mind. Recently, I received advice from a male colleague. An experienced father and a man well versed in life, he had a lot to say to the young females in my department. Harsh on the exterior, rough around the edges and stern in his mannerisms, he has willfully taken on a protective role over me since my year and a half stint with our company. An inherent softy and a gentle soul, he overheard a conversation I was having with someone about my latest endeavor: online dating. I’ve taken the leap and joined one of the many impersonal and awkward dating websites. He later approached me and uttered the following:

“Lynda, one piece of advice I can give you with this online dating stuff, since I’ve been there and done that; Do not disrespect yourself. Once you do you can never get it back. I know how my kind works and it’s not always morally upstanding”.

Here is a man when you need one. Since my dad is hours away and I don’t get to speak to him often about my life, in-depth, I have another source of wisdom; the next best thing to my exemplary father.

After he delivered the advice, he went on his merry way to his lunch break, while I sat there with this information. It immediately struck a cord with me. I’ve told myself that before, how once you cross a certain line either by actions or words spoken, there is no turning back. Some things cannot be repaired, they cannot be rewound, no matter how strong your efforts. To hear that from another is a great thing because it reaffirms what I think and gives it more lasting power. 

So, what I took away from this advice:

1. No matter how strong of a person you think you are, you can be swayed into behaving out of character as a result of the slick persuasion of some.
2. You can regain your own self respect, but it's the respect of others that can be forever gone.
3. To be in a place where you have let yourself down is not a great one and you will continuously work towards erasing that feeling, that situation, that event.  But a card laid is a card played.
4. Do not mould yourself to the likings of someone else.  We're like boomerangs.  We can be thrown out of our comfort zones, reach far out places and behave completely out of character for temporary satiety.  However, in the end, we always come back to our original spot, to our original being.  You can change ten times over to achieve the likes of someone else, but you will always return to the real you and realize, with discomfort, what you have done. So before ever being stricken with that feeling, don't do it.  Do not change.

Raise your metaphorical glass and let's cheers to firm beliefs and strong character.

"Watch your thoughts for they become words.
 Watch your words for they become actions.
 Watch your actions for they become habits.
 Watch your habits for they become character.
 Watch your character for it becomes your destiny." 

 LCxo

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